


i want you to feel adored

by pusa



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: M/M, Mutual Pining, Richie Tozier and Eddie Kaspbrak are best friends, eddie takes care of richie, they just. love each other very much ok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-23
Updated: 2019-11-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:13:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21534271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pusa/pseuds/pusa
Summary: because the thing about eddie kaspbrak, he’s observative. even when he doesn’t mean to. even when he doesn’t want to. even when he doesn’t know.and the thing about richie tozier, he hides under jokes and laughs and smiles. he hides and hides and hides and tries to forget what being sad feels like. but sometimes, it comes and stays. like an annoying pimple, or like the seasons outside. richie doesn’t really know. all he knows is that he’s sad. sometimes. (all the time)
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 3
Kudos: 101





	i want you to feel adored

**Author's Note:**

> this is written in lapslock because i felt like it suited it, although i apologize if it doesnt suit u )-: love you

they were at the barrens, and no one notices anything. at first.

(it’s always at first)

richie woke up a little out of the blue, a little frown on his face when he put on his black shirt and topped it with a cute blue hawaiian shirt. woke up feeling a little empty and confused. because he’s supposed to be funny and funny people shouldn’t feel this empty and sad.

when he looks at himself in the mirror, he practices a little clown voice. because you can’t really be too limited in making voices—you have to explore, kiddo. you can’t really excel in Voices if you don’t explore. so, richie took a deep breath and tried his best to say “hey, kiddos! it’s bozo the clown!”

richie’s disappointed when his Bozo the Clown Voice is almost the same as his normal voice.

he scoffs and looks away, “you’re being a dumbass. of course, you’re a clown.”

richie laughs a little and shakes his head. oh well, some clowns do have their off days.

( _but it’s not just an off day. it’s been days and richie’s been having off days. should off days be into off weeks? off months? why is it only limited to one day? and why can’t richie stop having off days?_ )

when he complains about his clown Voice at his dad, went only chuckles and ruffles richie’s hair. “don’t worry, son,” he smiles, “i’m sure there are better Voices than a clowns one.”

richie frowns. “i guess,” he mumbles. but why did that clown Voice affect him this much?

went nods and goes back to his newspaper, sipping his coffee. richie plays with his cereal before huffing. how can he still feel empty after eating his favourite cereal?

 _being off sucks_ , he grumbles in his mind before pushing away his cereal.

“i’m going out,” he says to went and the elder nods. “tell mags i’ll be home late.”

went chuckles. “that’s your mother.”

richie grins.

when he gets to the quarry, he’s the only one there. and he’s not sure how to feel about it.

 _oh, don’t be dumb_ , he scolds himself, sitting down by the rocks, _maybe they’re just late!_

and so, richie waits. and then he thinks. which is always a bad idea. thinking is bad, richie thinks. oh, an irony! but thinking is bad, bad, bad. richie doesn’t like his thoughts sometimes when he’s alone. he wishes bev were here. or maybe eds. or stan! yeah. he had lots of friends.

he sighs and looks down at the stream, feeling all of his thoughts swarm annoyingly in his mind. he feels oddly aware of the way his body works, the way his hands are twitching ever so often, the way some of the water splashes on his legs. the way the wind is slightly jostling his hair, long pieces flopping by his glasses. everything’s moving and moving and moving except for him.

it unnerves him slightly. this feeling, this feeling of _loneliness_. this feeling of abandonment, even though he’s not really abandoned. it sucks a lot. he wishes beverly was with him, smoking with him and making him smile. 

“hey!” 

richie startles, feet splashing against the water and he turns around. it’s bev!

“beverly, mah darling!” richie forces a smile and opens his arms. he’s unsurprised to see a lit cigarette hanging by her fingers. “just the lady i wanted to see!”

“shut up,” beverly rolls her eyes and sits next to him by the rock. she wordlessly gives him a cigarette and watches as he lights it up and quickly inhales. “why are you here all alone, huh, trashmouth?”

“needed some time for me and lil rich,” it slips out his tongue and the sudden snort of laughter that leaves beverly makes him grin. “got a problem, dah-ling?”

“you’re disgusting,” beverly shakes her head, taking the cigarette back before ruffling from behind them catches their attention. a grin instantly forms on richie’s face when he sees eddie’s pink polo and the curly hair of stan’s. ben and bill are behind them, conversing quietly with grins in their faces.

“where’s mike?” he asks and brightens instantly when eddie makes eye contact with him. “my lover eds!”

“hey, richie,” eddie says back and richie grins even more. _he didn’t deny it!_

“at th—the fa-fah-farm,” bill answers for richie and watches as ben bends down and inspects some sticks. “says he-he’ll come so-sooh-soo-soon.”

“miss that boy!” richie shakes his head. “we’re not together, lads!”

“you got that right,” stan shrugs and brushes off leaves from another rock that’s next to richie and beverly. “feels a little weird.”

 _no, no_ , richie thinks absent-mindedly, staring at the water, eddie muttering something beside him as he tries to sit down. _not little… a whole lot. we’re seven._

richie loves his friends a whole lot. he thinks. sometimes, maggie says he thinks an awful lot for a thirteen-year-old. and that, richie replies, with _well, can’t help it, madam! a boy’s gotta have a living!_ and she’ll ruffle his hair and push up his glasses for him. sometimes, richie lies down at night and thinks of the leaf he saw, the water droplet on it and then his thoughts escalate and escalate and—you get it.

sometimes, richie doesn’t know how to smile and he doesn’t know what to do about it.

he feels a poke on his arm, and he looks to his left. eddie’s looking at him with something he can’t understand (a lie! a lie! of course richie knows a lot about eddie! that’s his eds!) and he tilts his head.

“what ya got there, pardner?” he says, hearing the others converse behind him, sounding like white noise as his eyes meet eddie’s. there’s red blossoming on his cheeks and richie feels—feels a little lighter.

“i bought comic books,” eddie shyly whispers and richie whispers. “i even bought your favourite. the one i don’t like much.”

oh.

richie feels like he’s underwater yet the good kind; like the time they swam at the quarry and he opened his eyes underwater at the same as stan’s and they both laughed at their puffed-up cheeks. richie feels good.

he feels good. yeah.

“oh,” he says back. “why?”

eddie shrugs. “just felt like it,” he whispers and richie realizes that eddie has a backpack with him. huh. usually, he’d notice these kind of things.

he watches as eddie quickly shrugs it off and opens it quickly. richie snorts at the sight of a water bottle and, like, ten pieces of comic books.

“my, my,” richie teases. “are those _all_ my favourites?”

“not all of them,” eddie retaliates, glaring at him. “okay, maybe some. or all. no, just some. some are my favou—”

richie cuts him off with a laugh and he throws an arm around eddie’s shoulders. he brings him closer and leans toward his face with a grin. “what a good lad you are, eds!”

eddie rolls his eyes but a grin overtakes his lips and he motions to the comics. “well? come on, then, richie. maybe i’ll read some to you if you want to.”

another arrow to the heart!

(currently, there are 3,678 arrows in richie’s heart; kudos to eddie and his ever-loving and cute self!)

richie swoons and he nozzles his head against eddie’s. “my, what a day…” he sighs wistfully. “my dear eds, being so sweet and kind to a boy like me…”

“shut up,” eddie laughs quietly and watches as richie takes out a comic. richie looks at him and watches as eddie’s eyes catches sight of the comic and a soft smile grazes his lips. it was their favourite comic. “all right,” he murmurs, making eye contact with richie. “we’ll read that.”

richie tozier is in love with eddie’s voice.

although, he thinks that eddie should improve on his Voices more—richie himself is improving _greatly_ so he thinks he can give out constructive criticism. this, he voices out and eddie shoves him with a laugh.

“all right,” he giggles. “i’ll practice my bruce wayne more.”

“that’s the spirit!” richie laughs, flowing out of him smoothly without him having to force anything out and it feels—it feels too good, so good, like being with eddie makes him so happy and it’s just—richie never wants this day to end.

“eddie!” richie startles as bill shows up behind eddie. eddie jumps, the comic falling to the ground. the two voice out their complain.

“jeez, bill!” richie groans. “that was new!”

“suh-suh-sorry,” bill grins, placing a hand on eddie’s shoulder. “it’s almost th-tuh-three. we have to go.”

richie watches as something settles in eddie’s face and a pout forms on his lips. sometimes, richie finds himself thinking that he would like to know what eddie’s lips would feel like against his.

(today is one of those days. those ‘sometimes’)

“aw,” eddie pouts and richie kind of short-circuits. “i have to go somewhere with my ma today.”

“that sucks,” richie blurts out and is shocked at the laugh eddie laughs out.

“yeah,” he laughs, nodding at him as he bends down and picks up the comic. richie watches as bill pats eddie’s shoulder one more time before walking away. he watches as eddie carefully and meticulously arranges the comics in his bag so that they won’t crumple and carefully zips it up.

richie stands up as soon as eddie does and he grins. he’s been getting taller these days! he thinks he’s the same height as went now! he thinks he likes it when he has to lean down a little, or maybe bend down a little to talk to eddie. although, sometimes, eddie kicks his kneecaps when he does it but it’s the thought that matters.

eddie leans up a little and frowns. “you grew taller.”

“taking notes?”

“shut the fuck up.”

richie laughs, bending down a little and holds his stomach. “well, what a pottymouth!”

“jeez,” eddie laughs and hikes up his bag higher. “you’re a turd, richie.”

“of course i am,” richie grins. “now, shall we?”

“shall we where?”

“why, to your lovely momma, of course!” richie throws an arm around eddie’s shoulders again. “i’ve been missing my dear mrs. k for some time now!”

“gross,” eddie groans and begins walking. they both turn their body to find beverly, stan, bill, ben, and mike crouching on the ground in a circle. richie thinks they look like a cult.

“we’re going now!” eddie calls out to them and they all raise their head. a chorus of ‘bye’s and ‘see you tomorrow’s follow soon and they both wave goodbye.

and then, they set foot.

as they walk, richie grows quiet. he watches as he and eddie walk at the same time. left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot, left—oh, eddie used his right again.

“hey, richie?” eddie murmurs. they were near his house now. richie has moved his arm around his shoulders and their arms were looped together.

richie hums.

“yes, my darling eds?”

“are you feeling okay?”

richie feels his heart stop for a moment but he quickly looks at eddie with a grin. “oh, why, of—”

“of course, you aren’t,” eddie finishes for him and richie blinks. “you’ve been quiet the past days.”

“oh,” richie lets out. “oh.”

eddie stops walking and turns to him. richie stops, too, but he looks down instead. eddie pokes at his arm again. “it’s okay, richie,” he whispers. “it’s okay to be sad, i think.”

richie stares at him. “you think so?”

eddie nods. “yeah,” he replies, shrugging his shoulders. “i get sad sometimes, too.”

it twists richie’s heart in a painful way.

“i don’t want you feeling sad, eds,” richie blurts out. “you don’t deserve that.”

eddie lets out a giggle. “i don’t like you being sad, too,” he says, “but i think we all need to feel it sometimes.”

“yeah,” richie whispers. “yeah.”

“yeah,” eddie laughs and loops their arm again. “that’s why i bought my comics today.”

richie feels like kissing eddie again.

“really?”

“yeah,” eddie turns to him with a nod again. “thought it’d cheer you up.”

richie thinks he falls in love with eddie kaspbrak every day, every minute, every hour, every second. and he doesn’t mind.

“it did,” richie manages to say and looks at eddie, feels like he’s pouring his entire heart out. “you did.”

red colors eddie’s cheek and he smiles at richie. “good,” he grins. “you cheer me up, too.”

richie smiles, “lame.”

eddie laughs and rolls his eyes, shoving him hard. “you’re a loser!”

when they near eddie’s house, eddie lets out a sigh and richie nuzzles his hair with a hand.

“you can do it, champ!” he cheers and eddie turns to him with a roll of his eyes. “i know you’ll miss your dah-ling richie, but i’ll be here tomorrow!”

“yadda, yadda,” eddie rolls his eyes but he smiles at him shyly. “thank you for today, rich.”

 _no, thank_ you _for today, my eds. you make me so happy and i am in love with you. i love your voice, i love your hair, i love your hands, i love you, i love you, i love you_.

“no problem,” he grins. “see you tomorrow, alligator.”

eddie grins. “after awhile, crocodile!”

then, eddie leans up and presses a soft and quick kiss on richie’s cheek, but also so close to the side of his mouth that richie freezes. eddie’s lips are soft.

he watches as eddie grins at him before running towards his house. richie brings a hand up over to the place where eddie kissed him and he grins, covering his face with both of his hands.

sometimes, (most times most times) richie will feel—a little—a kinda, a whole lot sad. sometimes, his feelings and emotions would get too much, and he wouldn’t know what to do.

but.

but, but, but.

sometimes, (most times all the time most times) eddie will look at richie and hold his hand and richie thinks that eddie understands him most. that eddie will still love him, even when he can’t do his Voices well.

always, richie loves eddie a whole lot.

**Author's Note:**

> i dont like richie being sad but i was like let me project :-) so here it is )-: this is so short and stupid but i just wanted to write this ;u; im sorry if it doesnt make any sense but aaaaa yes this is she. hope u liked it though, i just wanted to write soft reddie ): i love you and im always here for you
> 
> ([my twt](https://twitter.com/itminiseries))


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